daily reflections: our flaws create our greatest stories

For years, the all-or-nothing mindset was my greatest ally. Growing up, I relied on it to achieve success in school. I told myself: If I can’t see through the entire plan, I’ve failed. That belief drove me to study 12-hour days, even on weekends, and to avoid any and everything that prevented this from happening.

On the days that this mindset worked in my favour, I achieved crazy results — from studying a 2-year syllabus in two months to losing 20kg in one month.

But…

The problem with this is that it was not always certain when I could make it work. And when it didn’t work, I ended up detracting further from the very goal I wanted to achieve.

Suppose I had a plan to post a video every day for 100 days. If I failed to post once, it would mean I have failed and I’ll completely stop posting to review my actions.

Usually the hardest part is the start, and when you get through the first 7 days, the momentum will keep you going.

This led me on a 2-year journey where I did next to nothing. Why? Because I couldn’t get past the second or third day. So imagine this: I’ll start for one day, fail on the next, stop for several weeks, and repeat — for 2 years.

The crazy part is that if I had just continued with the plan anyway, I would have far surpassed any result I could have planned for.

The crazy part?

As I’m writing this, I still face this problem. Despite knowing and thinking about how this mindset ruined the past 2 years of my life, I still struggle with it every single day.

(But I’ll share more about this in another reflection)

Anyway…

The purpose of today’s newsletter is not to actually talk about this very issue but to highlight something I recently learnt: we all have a flawed model of the world that showcases our very uniqueness.

• Each person constructs a unique "model of the world" based on their experiences, upbringing, culture, and biology. This model is essentially our perception of reality and determines how we interpret events and make decisions.

• Our brain constantly updates this model to navigate life, but it is never an objective or complete representation of the world. Instead, it’s a subjective framework shaped by biases and limitations.

My flawed model is my all-or-nothing mindset. On the surface, some people may think that I’m extremely capable if I focus on sharing my success stories — but the reality is often far from that.

When we see someone do something or behave in a way we cannot comprehend, it’s because they have a different model of the world — one that we can’t appreciate.

• These flaws drive our individuality, shaping our beliefs, values, and personal narratives. No two people see the world in the same way because no two brains are wired identically or experience life identically.

Some models today make certain people more successful by conventional metrics, but it doesn’t mean that the model itself has no flaws. Most of our lives is simply acting out our model of the world, until something happens that makes us re-evaluate our beliefs — or more conventionally known in storytelling: conflict and transformation.

And that’s how stories are told 
The Science of Storytelling by Will Storr

1. Start with the Flaw: Every compelling story begins with a flawed model of the world. Identify a belief or mindset your audience struggles with. (For example: "If I can’t work 12-hour days, I’ll never succeed.")

   When you pinpoint this flawed belief, you tap into something deeply relatable. Your audience sees themselves in your story, which creates instant connection.

2. Create Conflict: Show how this flawed mindset leads to tension or failure. Use vivid details to make the pain relatable and human. Describe moments of frustration or self-doubt that your readers have likely felt themselves.

   For example, in my weight loss story, the conflict was my constant cycle of perfectionism and failure. By sharing the emotional highs and lows, I made the story real and relatable.

3. Reveal Transformation: Share how a new perspective helped overcome the challenge. Your audience will see themselves in your journey and feel inspired to apply the lesson.

   Be honest about the process. Transformation isn’t instantaneous; it’s messy and imperfect. But that’s what makes it powerful.

4. Tap Into Emotion: Don’t shy away from vulnerability. Moments of guilt, frustration, or joy make your story memorable.

   Think about how you felt during your own journey. What emotions drove your decisions? Share these openly to deepen the connection with your audience.

5. Invite Reflection: End by asking your readers to consider their own "flawed model" and how they might rewrite their story.

   Reflection turns a passive reader into an active participant. Encourage them to see your story as a mirror for their own lives.

Remember: flaws are neither good or bad on their own.

And that’s it. Thanks for reading.

Your flaws are also your strengths,
Joesurf

P.S. If this resonated, share your model of the world with me. I’d love to hear your story.